It's Not a 3-Ring Circus, This is Your Home!

When I moved to Amsterdam I was fully prepared to be hit in the face with culture shock - living in a country where I didn't speak the language, didn't know the customs and having to learn how to ride a bike again after 15 years were all hurdles, so I expected to feel like a fish out of water. There's something about being an outsider to a situation that give you the feeling of comfortable anonymity.

However, I never expected and therefore have been completely unprepared for the reverse culture shock of moving back to the US after 3 years abroad. I've been back for a week and my most common facial expression can only be described as wide-eyed and slack-jawed. There's so much familiar and things I've been missing for years that are welcome home presents! For example, I can read and understand my mail again! No small thing as my strategy in Amsterdam was to ignore it until there were millions of exclamation points on the page or something came to be in bright red or yellow - not the best method I grant you but it seemed to work in the consequence free environment that is the Netherlands. I also have been going out and ordering copious amounts of ice just because I can. ICE ICE ICE it's everywhere and out for the taking! How I've missed you making all things cold, frosty and yummy! This also goes with exceptional service and general polite pleasantries I longed for.

But these few things I missed are dwarfed by the feeling of being completely overwhelmed by all things America. It's all just MORE. Bigger food, bigger drinks, more choices of everything (which my friend Semhal knows too much choice just makes me walk around in circles) faster pace of everything, more stores, more access, more cars, louder streets! In Amsterdam the street noise consisted of bicycle bells and there errant tram. My response to all of this combined with a new job and new city, etc is apparently to become narcoleptic. The feeling of negotiating so much new has taxed my delicate system to the point where abnormal amounts of sleep are required to keep me functioning to the next day where I can get up and do it all again.

Grocery shopping started out as a mere errand yesterday. I found the Safeway near my house. After going to the Real Foods all week and paying $4 for an apple I thought I should branch out. I've been in grocery stores before in the US so it's not like I've never seen one before but you'd think I was from Russia by my reaction. I grabbed a cart and started inside and was smacked in the face by the lights, the people and he height of the ceilings. Why have I never noticed how TALL these buildings are?! The cheese island alone took me 20 minutes so forget about the produce section. I tackled only half of the store before feeling dizzy and wanting to lie down in my cart. The checkout aisle has the standard millions of gossip magazines - mind candy- which I used to love reading while waiting for my turn. So I picked up a people...and I knew not 1 person on the cover. Who are these people? Staring back at me were 3 or 4 cookie cutter bimbettes and himbos all looking the same with headlines announcing either their love triangles or their weight gain or loss. I could have easily been reading Chinese. I've not fallen off the planet I was simply living in Europe!

So yes, I'm getting through the first week of a new city and understanding that culture shock can happen in America as well. There is so much to do and see in this city I'm definitely not in Kansas anymore - I can't just hop on my bike and go anymore but there are lots of fantastic options in front of me. I am on a prescription of plenty of naps, lots of sleep, biting off sections of the city at a time and trying to close my mouth while walking around so I don't look insane. As long as I have my giant cup of ice I can get through anything.