Donkeys and Elephants: Keep your hands inside the car at all times...

I've said before in previous posts that I'm surprised at how patriotic I've gotten being overseas. I find myself welcoming so many things European, but still looking around and thinking - it's really no wonder the US is a world power. Let's see - we work hard, take little or NO vacation, have a huge sense of drive to succeed, tip like there is no tomorrow and our stores are open ALL THE TIME! I'm sick of hearing "why can't we get ahead" by countries where the stores are closed 80% of the time and completely random schedules! Especially when I find myself standing in front of the grocery store knocking on the window like the little match girl because everything is shut. So I go home and stare at my fridge contemplating if I should attempt mustard soup, or just eat mustard on a cracker... This is when go to the happy place in my head of the all night groceries, Targets, 7-Eleven's etc. Nirvana!!! Of course there is the downside of the segment of America you wind up seeing at the all-night grocery stores is usually Billy Bob and friends all sporting mullets and way-too-small "I'm with Stupid" t-shirts.

Ahh America.

So being patriotic, and a true believer in voting, I of course got frothed up about the mid-term elections! Not ONLY because it meant extended coverage from my squeeze Tim Russert and his fancy white board (come on, smartest political man on the planet), but this was a BIG DEAL! I even managed to get my friend Madelon into it! Madelon is Dutch so of course I would not expect her to care about this stuff, but she was just as hooked as I was! I think maybe because it unfolded kind of like a game and Madelon is one of the biggest and best sports fans I've ever seen in my life - but still, she was practically sweating red white and blue. Madelon actually has some experience with the Americans as she was reinforcement #1 during Team America's Amsterdam invasion - see previous post :)

I should take this time to highlight a particularly salient view of American politics here:
www.endofworld.net

So, I tried to explain as best I could the process of elections recalling my 9th grade civics class - majority, minority, the whips, battlegrounds, donkeys, elephants, speakers, congressmen and senators so unfortunately Madelon may have come away with the impression that we have elected farm animals who will duke it out in some sort of "celebrity death match" style event in a big round house...which is probably the most accurate description of this giant circus.

While I sit there with my little papers, listing the states, who needs to hold what, who needs to take what, and avidly watching the returns, I've realized from watching the most recent elections that we will never again know ANYTHING on election night other than the fact that "Too Close To Call" will likely be tattooed on Brian William's butt.