"I hate everything I own! I have NOTHING to wear!"

Every woman at one point or another has stood bare-assed in her closet, hands on hips, surrounded by heaping piles of rejected articles of clothing and screamed this statement. The size of the wardrobe is not the issue. In fact there may even be an inverse correlation - seemingly the larger the wardrobe, the more frequent this declaration is made, often followed by a tapestry of swears as she swats at any remaining clothing left dangling from the hangers and stomps around the room. There is something to be said for too much choice hampering one's ability to make a decision (Hola, Ms. Imelda Marcos!). But most of the time these fits of inconsolable rage at our closets and general banishing of all existing clothing comes from just having stared at the same sh*t day after day and we're bored.

I am relating to this BIG time right now. I moved from Amsterdam to San Francisco 8 weeks ago and carefully selected only the items of clothing I really needed to bring in my 2 reasonably sized suitcases (having learned my lesson from my previous move - see post from July 2006 "But Where Do The Shoes Go?!") Thankfully I got word recently that my beloved shoe and clothing collection [oh yea and my furniture] made it across the seas and have landed in port to be delivered in a month...but of late I find myself having to book a solid 20 extra minutes each morning for the impending tantrum I know will be arising as I stare into my closet of meager goods.

Yesterday was the pinnacle. After going some serious rounds with the "dresses and skirts" section I got so mad I wound up not just rejecting some items but completely evicting them from my island by putting them into the suitcase and zipping it up. "You don't deserve a hanger you ugly @(*&$)!@!)*(#! I scraped together the remaining items that were not in some way banished or stomped upon and made it out the door to go to work. Black pants, shoes, t-shirt, cardigan. How can you go wrong? I was on the last part of my commute when I caught my reflection in a store window - black pants, yellow shoes, black t-shirt, yellow cardigan. Yes I'd dressed myself like a giant BEE!

My lord I miss my wardrobe! But given the proven inverse correlation I'm thinking when I actually get my loot, I'll simply have more to clean up next time. Maybe I should start booking 30 minutes extra!