When Do I Get the Track Suit

So even though I really do like my new job...a lot!...I still am going to work thinking...when do I get to retire? Seriously...this is fine and all, and I do dig getting a paycheck, but I think I'm done with this whole working thing now. I was talking to my friend Cat about this the other day. I am ready to be shipped down to Florida, dye my hair and unnatural shade of blonde or red and fashion it into the requisite fuzzy pumper barber shop do; spend my day in mystic tan until I achieve the appropriate shade of orange which will highight my snazzy new hot pink walking suit I will proudly wear power walking down the fake streets with my other biddy old ladies.

phew! how great would that be?

So I go to CNN money.com last night to investigate when exactly I should plan on building my track suit wardrobe and preparing for my 5pm dinners figuring it had to be in my 50's sometime! NO! F'ing retirement calculator told me I can't retire until I'm 60 if I live until I'm 80! I object! That's total BS! New Plan:

I will work until I'm 55 then start eating sticks of butter.