Reason I still have to be nice to the neighbors!

Monday I woke up at 6am so I could get to the office early since according to my calendar I was meeting with everyone I've ever met in half hour increments for the entire day. The day did not start off well getting out of bed I smashed into my open closet door leaving a lovely red mark in the center of my head. I made it to the shower thinking my day could only look up - shower...so nice. Until I wondered why my hair felt weird. The reason for my slick do, in my apparent fog I did not accurately identify the shampoo but chose to "wash" my hair with body oil. FYI - body oil is very hard to get out of hair...the reason I may have looked somewhat "shiny"

Monday mornings are busy anyway with jobs - put out the trash, try to start the week on a healthy note and bring my breakfast, etc. Add an exploding iron to the mix and I was moments away from channeling Rolling Stones 19th nervous breakdown.

I did thankfully remember to take out the trash and as I was mentally congratulating myself for doing so while tying the bags on my front step I heard from behind me an ominous slamming sound... #:!*?"@!#*!! My front door firmly shut with me on the wrong side of it.

I stood there for a second pondering my options and realizing I had none I rang the doorbell for my upstairs neighbor. The same neighbors that have taken a disliking to me ever since they were "bothered" by noise from a party I was having one evening...on a saturday ...at 8PM! Nevermind that their demon child wakes me up weekly for his midnight and 3am screamfests! Bygones.

I sheepishly explain my conundrum and ask if I can crawl through their bathroom window which overlooks my courtyard in the desperate hope that one of the doors was open. The husband was just out of the shower so I waited in the kitchen until all was decent when I glanced down to see from that spot they had a direct and unobstructed view into the hallway by my bedroom - an area in which I am regularly NOT decent. Fantastic. Let's add naked embarrassment to my morning.

Climbing out onto the ledge/rooftop I am cursing the rain as the pooling effect has made my descent pathways treacherous. I decide to opt for the hang-and-drop method vs the drainpipe shimmy. Both were risky manuevers in a skirt and impossibly high heels but the drainpipe seemed like a much greater option for disaster. The descent was not exactly flawless since rain had made the ledge a bit slippery resulting in a Gorbachev-style bruise on my hip. However the gods seemed to have had enough fun and I got in and headed off to work...late...wet...and without my friggin cisco badge.

So someone asked me yesterday what I was doing this weekend and this is my answer: Making 800 copies of my house keys and hiding them around the outside of my house, drinking heavily and depending on my mood buying either curtains or a bathrobe. Cheers.