Where the hell do I fit in my pedicure?!?!

When your calendar looks like this you know you're in for a bad hair day!

Death to Amsterdam Bike Thieves!!!

On my 3rd year I have become victim again to the underground bike trade. My trusty smooth ride got heisted recently. Second bike to get liberated since my arrival into Amsterdam. Overall not a bad go since usually you should plan on 1 bike per 6 month period!

I was not wise - i'd gotten too used to riding around, stopping my bike and locking it up but not attaching it to anything. the good ole Amsterdam rain caught me going to work so I weaved into Centraal Station and decided to take train to work. leaving my lovely bike with it's telltale half of a purple bell (some jackass stole HALF of my bell.) WTF?! I came out of the train station two days later after the rain had stopped, [yes you're reading this right I live in friggin Holland where it rains for days at a time not hours] and my frown grew as I realized my bike was not waiting to carry me home. what to do?! how do I get around NOW?! what happens going out at night?! am I supposed to WALK? or take the tram? forget it! i protested my lack of velo and just stayed in.

But this saturday i woke up early and went to claim a NEW and AWESOME bike. ok no purple bell only some stupid grey one which i immediately rejected as idiotic and not at all charasmatic. and it had a barely audible "ding" which is the surest way to meet certain death in a bike collision (usually with a walking tourist.) you need the megaphone "BRRRRINGGGG" one that scares the shit out of people when you ride by and ding it directly in their ears! boy it is funny to see the tourists jump and scream. sometimes if you're lucky you get a coffee spill in there. ok this may seem mean but come on - GET OUT OF THE FRIGGIN BIKE PATH IT"S NOT A WALKING PATH!"

so now I have my new and gorgeous black bullet. - shiney, new, heavily guarded with a bike chain mimicking the sturdiest of chastity belts and with one bitchin bell. watch out thieves...i'm back!